Where have my sticks gone?
They were stolen late last night
And shoved into foods.
First off: Yes. I saw this. You should know by now that my fingers have the ability to just start hitting keys on my computer keyboard until I land on items such as this. I don't need any sort of advanced warning - my fingers just know what to type. Now I need to buy some yarn and find someone to make this for me.
All right. With that out of the way, it's time for more important matters: the MN state fair begins today. For the next twelve days, thousands of Minnesotans will crowd into a small area in oppressive heat, eat a number of fried foods, and listen to free concerts from Gypsy Mania. I, for one, cannot wait to attend the fair. It always leads to a day of remarkable sights. Also: apples. Apple cider. Apple crisps. Apple sundaes. Caramel apples. Apple tarts. Apple sauce. Damn. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it.
Anywho, I need to get off to the store to buy my black socks, sandals, and REO Speedwagon t-shirt for this year's fair-going experience. I'm not sure when I'm going to get there, but it will happen. It's destiny. Before I depart, three things:
1) McCain not sure how many houses he owns
Please note: this is not a Today's Joke. I'm not even certain if this is funny or not. I just thought it should be posted to remind you how much McCain is just like you and me, for a number of reasons.
2) Today's Joke!
FDA allows food producers to zap spinach, lettuce with radiation to kill food-poisoning germs
The government will allow food producers to start zapping fresh spinach and iceberg lettuce with just enough radiation to kill E. coli and other dangerous germs, a key safety move amid increasing outbreaks from raw produce.
The Food and Drug Administration has determined that modern irradiation techniques kill food-poisoning germs without compromising the safety or nutrient value of raw spinach and lettuce.
The FDA does warn, however, that a diet overabundandt in irradiated greens may lead to swollen biceps, loss of use in the right eye, various speech impediments and rashes on the lower arms that take the shape of anchors.
3) Yesterday's Joke!
Afghanistan's first Olympic medalist wins cheers from Afghans, a house from the president
Rohullah Nikpai defeated world champion Juan Antonio Ramos of Spain on Wednesday to earn the bronze medal in the men's under 58-kilogram taekwondo competition, sparking applause, wide smiles and laughter in homes, restaurants and ice cream parlors around the country.
"When I saw that he won, I jumped up and hugged and kissed my son," Gayezabi said. "I was crying."
President Hamid Karzai immediately called to congratulate Nikpai. He also awarded him a house at the government's expense, said Humayun Hamidzada, the president's spokesman.
To make it feel even more like home, the US Army has agreed to shell it with mortar rounds for a week straight.