Monday, August 4, 2008


The stairway to fame
Is covered with the marbles
Of complete failure.

This morning started with a trip downtown to do a little commercial audition. Every once in a while, I get the call to make the trip into the heart of the city and try my hand at commercial acting. And every once in a while, I remember that being a good commercial actor and being a good sketch comedy actor are not one in the same. In fact, they are quite the opposite. In sketch comedy, everything is big and one must play for the old, hard-of-hearing, partially blind lady in the back row. For commercials, you communicate your emotions, your life story, your everything with just your eyes. What does that mean? I have no idea. And that's why I am never successful at commercial auditions.
Sure, I could take a class to learn how to tell the camera how excited I am for this new type of butter with nothing but my peepers, but that seems like a lot of work. I'm not really into that.
If the commercial world isn't ready for my flailing arms and arched eyebrows, then I'll just wait until the commercial world changes its mind.

Speaking of failures, today is the last day in the war of Joe vs. the microwave. The weekend was battle-free as the unit just taunted me from its resting place on the dining room floor. Today, however, is different. Today is a day of action. Today is a day of victory. Whether that victory belongs to me or the microwave, we shall soon see. But after today, the war will end.

Anywho, I should be off. I need to put my headband on. Before I depart, two items:
- Go see Mike's fringe show. It's OK.
- Today's Joke!
Study says restaurant kids' meals loaded with fat, salt and calories
Parents looking for healthy meal choices for their children are likely to find slim pickings on the menus of the nation's top restaurant chains, according to a report released Monday by a nonprofit public health group.
Nearly every possible combination of the children's meals at Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell, Sonic, Jack in the Box, and Chick-fil-A are too high in calories, the report by the Center for Science in the Public Interest said.
However, parents can look to the kid's value meal names for guidance in choosing the healthiest meal for their children. Subway's "Fresh Fit for Kids" meals were rated the best, with the lowest calorie count. Burger King's "Big Kids" meal was in the middle of the pack with just over 900 calories. The meals with the highest calorie counts were Chili's "Kid-splosion" meals, Taco Bell's "El Gordo Nino," and KFC's "Lard Bucket" meals.



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