Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Deep in the basement
While you sleep away the night:
Disco mouse party!

Pardon me for a moment, but I need to get this out of the way:

An Open Letter To The Person That Keeps Putting CGI Animals Into Movies.

Dear Sir or Madam,

Please stop with the fake computer animals. I don't need a prairie dog's comical expression of bewilderment to tell me that what I just saw was bewildering. I can come to those conclusions on my own. Also, a chipmunk singing "Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" might be sending the wrong message to our children. Do we really want to create a generation of citizens that has a strange attraction to rodents? We saw what happened to Richard Gere. We don't need that sort of trouble for the youth of America's future.
Next time you're moved to create a digital animal for a film, might I recommend getting a real animal instead and putting peanut butter on its gums? It worked wonders for Mr. Ed.

Much obliged,

Apologies. That's been bugging me.

Anywho, Mike and I are at Punch Out! this Friday at 11 pm at the BNW. We're competing against Five Man Job. As such, Mr. Butch Roy has already started making claims that Five Man Job will "destroy" Ferrari McSpeedy. Normally, I'm not one to get involve in these heated pre-show pissing contests (I save my anger for the softball field) but then I read this from Butch's blog:
No more sad orphans and angry impressions of high school basketball coaches you let down.

All right, Butch. If you want to play that way, then let's play:
After Friday night, there will be no more awkward rants to start a set.
There will be no more aggressively sexual assaults on children.
There will be no more gay-ass transformations.
There will be no more Five Man Job.

You started this war, Butch. Ferrari McSpeedy is going to end it. After we obliterate FMJ at Punch Out!, we're going to take over Go Go and start charging $2: one dollar for us, one dollar for the StageBenders.

Well, now that I'm done posturing for an improv show, I think it's time that I high-tail it out of here. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
McCain, Bush campaign together amid complex relationship of pitfalls, benefits
John McCain's complex relationship with President Bush can be summed up with a simple saying: can't live with him, can't live without him.
The president's own popularity is bottom-of-the-barrel low. Even allies privately fret that he's an albatross for the Republican looking to succeed him. Voters are crying out for change amid a prolonged Iraq war and a weakened economy.
But Bush also is beloved among GOP loyalists. He's a proven campaigner who can raise serious money. Those are huge assets as Arizona Sen. McCain works to rally the Republican base and fill his coffers while facing the Democrats' unrivaled enthusiasm and record-breaking fundraising.
As McCain put it in a recent interview, "Thirty percent of this nation still thinks the world of President Bush. I need to get those crazy motherf*ckers over to my side."
The president and his would-be successor were appearing together Tuesday for the first time in nearly three months at an event that epitomized both elements of their tricky alliance — they were holding a fundraiser with GOP faithful at a private home, without the media to document it. Among the invitees were Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Bill O'Reilly, Randy Brinson, Jack Abramoff, the former heads of Enron, a selection of scientists that call global warming a hoax, and Jesus.



1 comment:

Butch Roy said...

oh my, what will Ferrari McSpeedy do now??!!

will they eat sheet cake onstage? or will they eat doughnuts onstage?

Only one thing is certain. they know what makes self-referential improv funny: eating

I tremble in fear
you get diabetes