Many people think
They want a waffle maker.
They just want waffles.
It's a rainy day here in the Minneapolis. I have no scheduled obligations until this evening, when I am due to perform the BNW's 50th anniversary show. Sure, I have a few things to do around the house and around the town, but I can do those things at my leisure. That, my friend, is a recipe for disaster. I've already spent too much of this morning reading about umbrella stands and games I'll never play. Every time that I try to focus and complete this missive, I get distracted by everything. Old friends on Facebook. An empty cup of coffee. The small fire that has started in my closet.
If I don't try to focus up, I'm going to end up spending the rest of the day messing around on my blogspot account and I won't get any of my errands done! What a nightmarish scenario!
OK. I'm going to really try and keep my mind on task. I can do it. Serious.
Shoot! There are new lists up at McSweeneys. I'll be right back...
Dang it! I did it again!
Come on, Joe. You can do this.
All right. Here we go.
That's it. I give up. I just can't blog today. I hope you understand.
Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
Florida considers Christian license plate
The Florida Legislature is considering a specialty plate with a design that includes a Christian cross, a stained-glass window and the words "I Believe."
Rep. Edward Bullard, the plate's sponsor, said people who "believe in their college or university" or "believe in their football team" already have license plates they can buy. The new design is a chance for others to put a tag on their cars with "something they believe in," he said.
If the plate is approved, Florida would become the first state to have a license plate featuring a religious symbol that's not part of a college logo.
Florida's specialty license plates require the payment of additional fees, some of which go to causes the plates endorse, such as agencies that helped people broadcast their faith in other ridiculous ways.
Those with the religious plates not only would promote their faith, but they would also have total access to car-pool-only lanes, as their co-pilot, Jesus, is always in the car with them.
If the Florida legislature approves the Christian plate, they can expect calls for other faith-based plates to follow. Supporters of the Jewish faith, Islam, Buddhism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster have already said that they have drawings made up and ready for approval. Local agnostic groups have also expressed interest in a plate, but they can't decide what it should look like.
Psst! This Friday at 11 pm at the BNW, Ferrari McSpeedy competes against Rumpledshirts at Punch Out! You probably don't want to miss it.