A man. A machine.
A dream of ten thousand boys.
We are all Iron Man.
Yesterday afternoon, Mike and I took in an early showing of Iron Man. What can I say? I love paying matinee prices! Anywho, before going, I had read and heard such statements as, "it's the best superhero movie ever" and "Iron Man is pretty darn great" and "this movie will make you a better person." That type of hype tends to sour a film for me. However, Iron Man was actually a decent movie and a kick-ass superhero movie. Usually, those two things don't go together, but FORSOOTH! Iron Man had characters that grew as the movie progressed, action scenes that were filmed in a way that you could actually tell what was happening, and just the right amount of humor. It's hard to fit all three of those items in any movie, let alone a comic-book movie. Yet, somehow, Iron Man prevailed. It also had a scene after the credits that delighted me and my limited knowledge of the Marvel universe to no end. If you go see it, be sure to stick around for it. FOTIs.
In other news, I have lost the ability to tilt my head upwards or turn it from side to side without wincing in pain. My guess is that I strained my neck whilst sleeping, although I'm certain there will be plenty of people that will suggest I have Lyme Disease or arthritis of the neck or possibly even meningitis. I'm going to hold off on diagnosing myself with anything super deadly or incapacitating for the moment and see if I can't just work it out. If I wake up tomorrow and it's worse, I promise that I'll begin construction of a robotic exo-skeleton to help me get around town.
Anywho, I should be off. The BNW needs a cleaning, and I'm just the guy to do it. If I had a superhero name, it would probably be "The Immaculator." It's got a ring to it.
Before I depart, here's Today's Joke!
Clinton wins Indiana; Obama sweeps N.C.
Barack Obama swept to a convincing victory in the North Carolina primary Tuesday night and declared he was closing in on the Democratic presidential nomination. Hillary Rodham Clinton eked out a win in Indiana as she struggled to halt her rival's march into history.
"Tonight we stand less than 200 delegates away from securing the Democratic nomination for president of the United States," Obama told a raucous rally in Raleigh, N.C. — and left no doubt he intended to claim the prize.
Clinton stepped before her own supporters not long afterward in Indianapolis. "Thanks to you, it's full speed on to the White House," she said, signaling her determination to fight on in a campaign already waged across more than 16 months and nearly all 50 states.
Both candidates announced that they were looking forward to at least another week of character defamation and personal attacks as the Democratic party continues to tear itself apart, leaving the road to the White House open and empty for John McCain.
"If we can't lose spectacularly come novemeber, we haven't done our job," said Democratic party head Howard Dean. "The flame-out I had in '04 will be nothing compared to this."
Huzzah!
Tomorrow!
Psst! HUGE Theater is at Punch Out! this Friday. Prepare yourself.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Romeoed!
I find summer's truth -
Its sizzling realities -
In my armpit stains.
Last night, the BNW participated in the Fringe's Five-Fifths production of Romeo and Juliet. The evening was a true delight. I missed the fourth act, but I did get to see the fine Four Humors folks do a marvelous dance-based re-telling of the first act and the Rockstar Storytellers with a brilliant take on their act. We closed the show in the crudest, most violent way possible. It's what William would have wanted.
Anywho, I wanted to congratulate everyone involved in the show. It was a roaring success and a joy to be a part of. It also reminded me that I need to get back into the Fringe world soon. I've been missing a lot of fun for the past few years.
In other news, today looks to be unbelievably nice. Temps near 80, sunny for most of the day, a light breeze blowing... That's why I've decided to go see Iron Man. Sure, I could spend the entire day outside, chasing rabbits and laughing like a young boy with a set of Looney Tunes videos, but I've learned that you shouldn't over-do it on these first nice days. You need to just dip your toe in the pleasantness. Why? Because it will probably end up snowing this weekend, and if you get too comfortable with today's 80 degrees, this weekend's 20 degrees will only send you deeper into a spiral of despair and sorrow. I'm not saying that the forecast is predicting a cold weekend, but I am saying that we are bound to experience one if we enjoy this delightfulness too much. I've lived in Minnesota just long enough to realize that's how it works around here. I'm onto you, Mother Nature. You cant fool this guy!
Anywho, I should be off. I like to dress up when I go see superhero movies, so I have a lot of welding to do in the next hour. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
McCain rips liberal judicial system
Sen. John McCain today threw some red meat to conservatives, lashing out at liberal judges that make law rather than interpret the Constitution and ripping the current Supreme Court, considered by some to already be conservative.
The presumptive Republican presidential candidate said America's courts have strayed far from the edict of the Founding Fathers, who laid out "not just guidelines," but clear directives for the judiciary.
"The moral authority of our judiciary depends on judicial self-restraint, but this authority quickly vanishes when a court presumes to make law instead of apply it. A court is hardly competent to check the abuses of other branches of government when it cannot even control itself," McCain said.
"As we've learned in the past eight years, the true power for making, approving, determining the constitutionality and enforcing our nation's laws lies in the hands of the President. These uppity courts had better check themselves before they wreck themselves."
McCain then promised that if elected, his first act would be to send the 'liberal judges" to Iraq so they could do their judging on the battlefield.
Huzzah!
Tomorrow!
Its sizzling realities -
In my armpit stains.
Last night, the BNW participated in the Fringe's Five-Fifths production of Romeo and Juliet. The evening was a true delight. I missed the fourth act, but I did get to see the fine Four Humors folks do a marvelous dance-based re-telling of the first act and the Rockstar Storytellers with a brilliant take on their act. We closed the show in the crudest, most violent way possible. It's what William would have wanted.
Anywho, I wanted to congratulate everyone involved in the show. It was a roaring success and a joy to be a part of. It also reminded me that I need to get back into the Fringe world soon. I've been missing a lot of fun for the past few years.
In other news, today looks to be unbelievably nice. Temps near 80, sunny for most of the day, a light breeze blowing... That's why I've decided to go see Iron Man. Sure, I could spend the entire day outside, chasing rabbits and laughing like a young boy with a set of Looney Tunes videos, but I've learned that you shouldn't over-do it on these first nice days. You need to just dip your toe in the pleasantness. Why? Because it will probably end up snowing this weekend, and if you get too comfortable with today's 80 degrees, this weekend's 20 degrees will only send you deeper into a spiral of despair and sorrow. I'm not saying that the forecast is predicting a cold weekend, but I am saying that we are bound to experience one if we enjoy this delightfulness too much. I've lived in Minnesota just long enough to realize that's how it works around here. I'm onto you, Mother Nature. You cant fool this guy!
Anywho, I should be off. I like to dress up when I go see superhero movies, so I have a lot of welding to do in the next hour. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
McCain rips liberal judicial system
Sen. John McCain today threw some red meat to conservatives, lashing out at liberal judges that make law rather than interpret the Constitution and ripping the current Supreme Court, considered by some to already be conservative.
The presumptive Republican presidential candidate said America's courts have strayed far from the edict of the Founding Fathers, who laid out "not just guidelines," but clear directives for the judiciary.
"The moral authority of our judiciary depends on judicial self-restraint, but this authority quickly vanishes when a court presumes to make law instead of apply it. A court is hardly competent to check the abuses of other branches of government when it cannot even control itself," McCain said.
"As we've learned in the past eight years, the true power for making, approving, determining the constitutionality and enforcing our nation's laws lies in the hands of the President. These uppity courts had better check themselves before they wreck themselves."
McCain then promised that if elected, his first act would be to send the 'liberal judges" to Iraq so they could do their judging on the battlefield.
Huzzah!
Tomorrow!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Fivethes!
The tales of yore
Come prancing to-wards this day
With stuffed codpieces.
Tonight, at the Theatre de la Jeune Lune (105 North First Street, Mpls.), five theatrical groups are banding together to retell the story of Romeo and Juliet in an effort to help out the MN Fringe Festival. It's part of their annual Five-Fifths fund-raiser. This year, the main-stage cast of the BNW is taking part in the festivities. This, of course, means that I am just hours away from putting on a pair of tights and making a damn mockery of the Bard and his most famous work. Delightful? I thinkest so. If you're a supporter of the Fringe and/or would like to see at least one very interesting interpretation of Shakespeare's greatest tragedy, you should consider leaving your hamlet and swinging on by as youmight like it. You will leave without the slightest (lover's) complaint. Actually, after looking at the other four companies performing tonight, it should be one tempest of a night. It's truly a midsummer night's dream of a line-up. Henry VI, Part 2.
I apologize for the end of that last paragraph. It was unnecessary.
In other news, this past weekend, if I were to describe it in just one word, was "babylicious." I went to a baby shower for a friend, visited Babies ARE Us several times (mostly to break the strollers that were on display), and started the baby registry. The only times not spent with young children at the forefront of my mind were whilst I was sleeping or performing at the BNW. It's a sign of many weekends to come and, in September, many weekdays to come. I am super excited for the kid to come along, but I must say that it's certainly odd to have this little tyke on the way and a laundry list of items to take care of before the big birth day. It's like we're awaiting the arrival of a tiny king or queen. I'll bet most actual kings or queens don't throw up on everything though. Do they?
Hey! Obama beat Clinton in Guam by seven votes. Seven! This race keeps getting more and more exciting! It's a shame they have no actual say in the November elections. Sure, they have a straw poll, but doesn't mean anything. It's like they always say, "The only people that go to Guam are tourists and people that like to vote without having their voices actually be heard."
Anywho, I should be off. I have a codpiece to pack. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
Lights out for huge electric map of Battle of Gettysburg
For decades, visitors willing to shell out a few extra dollars at Gettysburg National Military Park could be entertained — or bored — by an electric light display showing troop movements in that pivotal Civil War battle.
With the opening of a new museum and visitor center that offers a bigger "wow" factor for the park's nearly 2 million visitors each year, the National Park Service has decided that its 1960s-era electric battlefield map is obsolete.
As patrons of the new $103 million facility learn about the battle by immersing themselves in new technology, the old center stands vacant, awaiting demolition next year. Before that happens, the 30-by-30-foot electric map — embedded with more than 625 colored lights — will be dismantled and placed in storage.
In its place, a small museum dedicated to the history of the Gettysburg electric map will be erected, featuring a state-of-the-art holographic image of the dismantled attraction. Park officials are hoping the new display will help spur interest in the field of historical ways of retelling history.
Yay!
Tomorrow!
Psst! Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Come prancing to-wards this day
With stuffed codpieces.
Tonight, at the Theatre de la Jeune Lune (105 North First Street, Mpls.), five theatrical groups are banding together to retell the story of Romeo and Juliet in an effort to help out the MN Fringe Festival. It's part of their annual Five-Fifths fund-raiser. This year, the main-stage cast of the BNW is taking part in the festivities. This, of course, means that I am just hours away from putting on a pair of tights and making a damn mockery of the Bard and his most famous work. Delightful? I thinkest so. If you're a supporter of the Fringe and/or would like to see at least one very interesting interpretation of Shakespeare's greatest tragedy, you should consider leaving your hamlet and swinging on by as youmight like it. You will leave without the slightest (lover's) complaint. Actually, after looking at the other four companies performing tonight, it should be one tempest of a night. It's truly a midsummer night's dream of a line-up. Henry VI, Part 2.
I apologize for the end of that last paragraph. It was unnecessary.
In other news, this past weekend, if I were to describe it in just one word, was "babylicious." I went to a baby shower for a friend, visited Babies ARE Us several times (mostly to break the strollers that were on display), and started the baby registry. The only times not spent with young children at the forefront of my mind were whilst I was sleeping or performing at the BNW. It's a sign of many weekends to come and, in September, many weekdays to come. I am super excited for the kid to come along, but I must say that it's certainly odd to have this little tyke on the way and a laundry list of items to take care of before the big birth day. It's like we're awaiting the arrival of a tiny king or queen. I'll bet most actual kings or queens don't throw up on everything though. Do they?
Hey! Obama beat Clinton in Guam by seven votes. Seven! This race keeps getting more and more exciting! It's a shame they have no actual say in the November elections. Sure, they have a straw poll, but doesn't mean anything. It's like they always say, "The only people that go to Guam are tourists and people that like to vote without having their voices actually be heard."
Anywho, I should be off. I have a codpiece to pack. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
Lights out for huge electric map of Battle of Gettysburg
For decades, visitors willing to shell out a few extra dollars at Gettysburg National Military Park could be entertained — or bored — by an electric light display showing troop movements in that pivotal Civil War battle.
With the opening of a new museum and visitor center that offers a bigger "wow" factor for the park's nearly 2 million visitors each year, the National Park Service has decided that its 1960s-era electric battlefield map is obsolete.
As patrons of the new $103 million facility learn about the battle by immersing themselves in new technology, the old center stands vacant, awaiting demolition next year. Before that happens, the 30-by-30-foot electric map — embedded with more than 625 colored lights — will be dismantled and placed in storage.
In its place, a small museum dedicated to the history of the Gettysburg electric map will be erected, featuring a state-of-the-art holographic image of the dismantled attraction. Park officials are hoping the new display will help spur interest in the field of historical ways of retelling history.
Yay!
Tomorrow!
Psst! Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Rehappenings!
When the tulips bloom
You should take that as a sign:
No more Christmas wreaths!
Our neighbor still has a holiday wreath hanging on the front of his house. It's one of those over-sized wreaths that's almost as big as the door it hangs next too. I hadn't noticed it until today. I'm never sure how to feel about holiday decorations that are left up too long. On one hand, I applaud my neighbor for keeping the holiday spirit alive. On the other hand, aren't there some other holidays that deserve their time in the sun? Where's the Mother's Day wreath? Santa didn't shoot you out of a vagina. Let's get with it, neighbor!
Apologies. That was a bit crass, wasn't it?
That Iron Man movie opens today. I must say, I'm excited for this movie for several reasons: the previews look pretty dang neat; the rottentomatoes.com reviews all seem to like it (94%!); and it kicks off the start of the summer blockbuster season which, this year, includes Batman and Indiana Jones. For those that have been paying attention, this is a repeat of the year 1989 when Tim Burton's Batman competed against Indiana and his dad and their last crusade.
Oddly, the similarities between 1989 and 2008 do not end there. Let's examine!
- The Revolutions of 1989 signaled the end of Communist Russia's power and brought resolution to the Cold War. Similarly, in 2008, Castro was replaced (by Castro II!) and we've seen a dissolution of Communist power in Cuba.
- In China, in 1989, the government came under international fire for it's handling of the Tienanmen Square protests. This year, the Chinese government is coming under international fire for it's handling of Tibet.
- Quantum Leap debuts in 1989, a show that features a man that travels through time to help people. In 2008, The Sarah Conner Chronicles debuts, a show that features a girl that travels through time to violently kill people.
- Throughout most of September in 1989, I tried to get a girl to like me by telling her that I saw Aerosmith in concert. I have a feeling that same thing will happen in September of 2008.
- And of course, both 1989 and 2008 feature movies of strange loners using their status, power and determination to save the little guys. 2008's Iron Man is really nothing more than a re-telling of 1989's Roger and Me when you think about it...
Goodness. It's like the past is just repeating itself. Spooky.
Anywho, I should be off. Today is a day of busy-ness, as I've got to find the Easter eggs that I hid a month and a half ago. Before I depart, here two things:
1) Punch Out! at the BNW at 11 pm tonight. Come see it. It should be incredible!
2) Today's Joke!
Congress Passes Bill to Bar Bias Based on Genes
A bill that would prohibit discrimination by health insurers and employers based on the information that people carry in their genes won final approval in Congress on Thursday by an overwhelming vote.
The legislation, which President Bush has indicated he will sign, speaks both to the mounting hope that genetic research may greatly improve health care and the fear of a dystopia in which people’s own DNA could be turned against them.
“People know we all have bad genes, and we are all potential victims of genetic discrimination,” said Representative Louise M. Slaughter, Democrat of New York, who first proposed the legislation. "With this bill, we can make sure that we don't discriminate based on our genes, and we can keep our discrimination focused on non-genetic issues, such as income, origin of birth, religion, skin color, sexuality and gender. Today is truly a great day for freedom and equality."
Yay?
Monday!
You should take that as a sign:
No more Christmas wreaths!
Our neighbor still has a holiday wreath hanging on the front of his house. It's one of those over-sized wreaths that's almost as big as the door it hangs next too. I hadn't noticed it until today. I'm never sure how to feel about holiday decorations that are left up too long. On one hand, I applaud my neighbor for keeping the holiday spirit alive. On the other hand, aren't there some other holidays that deserve their time in the sun? Where's the Mother's Day wreath? Santa didn't shoot you out of a vagina. Let's get with it, neighbor!
Apologies. That was a bit crass, wasn't it?
That Iron Man movie opens today. I must say, I'm excited for this movie for several reasons: the previews look pretty dang neat; the rottentomatoes.com reviews all seem to like it (94%!); and it kicks off the start of the summer blockbuster season which, this year, includes Batman and Indiana Jones. For those that have been paying attention, this is a repeat of the year 1989 when Tim Burton's Batman competed against Indiana and his dad and their last crusade.
Oddly, the similarities between 1989 and 2008 do not end there. Let's examine!
- The Revolutions of 1989 signaled the end of Communist Russia's power and brought resolution to the Cold War. Similarly, in 2008, Castro was replaced (by Castro II!) and we've seen a dissolution of Communist power in Cuba.
- In China, in 1989, the government came under international fire for it's handling of the Tienanmen Square protests. This year, the Chinese government is coming under international fire for it's handling of Tibet.
- Quantum Leap debuts in 1989, a show that features a man that travels through time to help people. In 2008, The Sarah Conner Chronicles debuts, a show that features a girl that travels through time to violently kill people.
- Throughout most of September in 1989, I tried to get a girl to like me by telling her that I saw Aerosmith in concert. I have a feeling that same thing will happen in September of 2008.
- And of course, both 1989 and 2008 feature movies of strange loners using their status, power and determination to save the little guys. 2008's Iron Man is really nothing more than a re-telling of 1989's Roger and Me when you think about it...
Goodness. It's like the past is just repeating itself. Spooky.
Anywho, I should be off. Today is a day of busy-ness, as I've got to find the Easter eggs that I hid a month and a half ago. Before I depart, here two things:
1) Punch Out! at the BNW at 11 pm tonight. Come see it. It should be incredible!
2) Today's Joke!
Congress Passes Bill to Bar Bias Based on Genes
A bill that would prohibit discrimination by health insurers and employers based on the information that people carry in their genes won final approval in Congress on Thursday by an overwhelming vote.
The legislation, which President Bush has indicated he will sign, speaks both to the mounting hope that genetic research may greatly improve health care and the fear of a dystopia in which people’s own DNA could be turned against them.
“People know we all have bad genes, and we are all potential victims of genetic discrimination,” said Representative Louise M. Slaughter, Democrat of New York, who first proposed the legislation. "With this bill, we can make sure that we don't discriminate based on our genes, and we can keep our discrimination focused on non-genetic issues, such as income, origin of birth, religion, skin color, sexuality and gender. Today is truly a great day for freedom and equality."
Yay?
Monday!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Maydaied!
Erect the Maypole!
Dance around in your skivvies!
Uh oh! The police!
Well, we've made it to May. In most parts of the northern hemisphere, today marks the end of cold weather and the start of sunny days, thunderstormy nights, and an ever-rising humidity that will cause us to question life come late July. In parks around the country, parades will take place to signal the arrival of happy, warmer times. Families will start making their summer vacation plans today as their minds all turn towards the lazy months that lie ahead.
Luckily, here in Minnesota, we still have snow possible in the coming weekend's forecast. Snow. I really need to move.
Anywho, it's hard not to enjoy the arrival of May. The temps stay over 60 degrees consistantly, the windows are open, the furnace is turned off, and people walk outside wearing things ridiculous articles of clothing, such as man-capris and off-the-shoulder t-shirts.
Meanwhile, my closet transitions from long-sleeve button-down shirts to short-sleeve button down shirts. I'll start developing that lovely lower-arm tan any day now. I can't wait.
The larger change that May brings happens in my CD player. For the past few weekends, I've taken out the brooding albums that have inhabited my stereo systems for the past half-year and placed in poppier, more sing-alongable recordings. Early Ramones, some New Pornographers, a little bit of Stevie Wonder - all of this has become immensely popular to me. Mid-term Beatles also does a heck of a job fitting in to this temperate climate. Baby, you can certainly drive my car! Let's go nowhere, man!
However, I pose to you this: what am I missing? What song, album or artist is essential to the longer days of spring time? I need to know, either to add to my collection or to quietly judge you, depending on whether Mariah Carey is included in your response or not.
Anywho, I should be off. The lawn needs attention before it's dusted with snow again. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
Pittsburgh named nation's sootiest city, but LA remains the most polluted
A city outside California has for the first time been named the sootiest in the nation, one of the categories the American Lung Association uses to determine the most polluted cities in the country.
Pittsburgh overtook Los Angeles in the category that measures short-term particle pollution or soot. Los Angeles, the country's longtime soot and smog leader, has enacted aggressive measures to tackle sources of pollution, resulting in a substantial drop in particle pollution levels, said Janice Nolen, the association's assistant vice president of national policy and advocacy.
Meanwhile, according to Nolen, Pittsburgh has been shooting metric tons of soot into the air above the city.
"It's like (the city of Pittsburgh) just wanted to win an award," said Nolan.
The mayor of Pittsburgh has scheduled a mid-day parade from PNC Park to Alleheny General Hospital in celebration of Pittsburgh's new status as "national soot leader."
Yay!
Tomorrow!
Dance around in your skivvies!
Uh oh! The police!
Well, we've made it to May. In most parts of the northern hemisphere, today marks the end of cold weather and the start of sunny days, thunderstormy nights, and an ever-rising humidity that will cause us to question life come late July. In parks around the country, parades will take place to signal the arrival of happy, warmer times. Families will start making their summer vacation plans today as their minds all turn towards the lazy months that lie ahead.
Luckily, here in Minnesota, we still have snow possible in the coming weekend's forecast. Snow. I really need to move.
Anywho, it's hard not to enjoy the arrival of May. The temps stay over 60 degrees consistantly, the windows are open, the furnace is turned off, and people walk outside wearing things ridiculous articles of clothing, such as man-capris and off-the-shoulder t-shirts.
Meanwhile, my closet transitions from long-sleeve button-down shirts to short-sleeve button down shirts. I'll start developing that lovely lower-arm tan any day now. I can't wait.
The larger change that May brings happens in my CD player. For the past few weekends, I've taken out the brooding albums that have inhabited my stereo systems for the past half-year and placed in poppier, more sing-alongable recordings. Early Ramones, some New Pornographers, a little bit of Stevie Wonder - all of this has become immensely popular to me. Mid-term Beatles also does a heck of a job fitting in to this temperate climate. Baby, you can certainly drive my car! Let's go nowhere, man!
However, I pose to you this: what am I missing? What song, album or artist is essential to the longer days of spring time? I need to know, either to add to my collection or to quietly judge you, depending on whether Mariah Carey is included in your response or not.
Anywho, I should be off. The lawn needs attention before it's dusted with snow again. Before I depart, here's Today's Joke:
Pittsburgh named nation's sootiest city, but LA remains the most polluted
A city outside California has for the first time been named the sootiest in the nation, one of the categories the American Lung Association uses to determine the most polluted cities in the country.
Pittsburgh overtook Los Angeles in the category that measures short-term particle pollution or soot. Los Angeles, the country's longtime soot and smog leader, has enacted aggressive measures to tackle sources of pollution, resulting in a substantial drop in particle pollution levels, said Janice Nolen, the association's assistant vice president of national policy and advocacy.
Meanwhile, according to Nolen, Pittsburgh has been shooting metric tons of soot into the air above the city.
"It's like (the city of Pittsburgh) just wanted to win an award," said Nolan.
The mayor of Pittsburgh has scheduled a mid-day parade from PNC Park to Alleheny General Hospital in celebration of Pittsburgh's new status as "national soot leader."
Yay!
Tomorrow!
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